then some and change

I was so exhausted - both physically and psychically - I went to bed early early last night. it did me a world of good... first time in ages I had an uninterrupted night's worth of sleep. woke up in rather good spirits this morning. after a really difficult week, I think I can lay off the heartache for a couple of days to give me time to recover.
still got the bank breathing down my neck, though when getting a certain airline's newsletter at around noon I was sorta tempted to throw my good intentions over-board to book a flight to see R. when I got home there were a stack of unpaid bills though... I guess I'll pay those and wait with the flying for another few months, untill I'm more stable - financially and soul-wise.
though, knowing myself, I'm not so sure about what my actions will be in just 24 hours from now. I'll keep my fingers crossed for myself and hope I'll behave. *lol*
though I know I should. or chances are good I'll spend xmas out on the street with noplace to call my home.
great thing to know the xmas gratification are due in just 4 weeks.. and if joe finally pays the 600 euros he still owes me for selling my kitchen to him in january, I should be okay.
the finances alone are enough to drag any person down. I'm still trying to find a way to be more happy, which is kinda tough to find a way to...
I need to mend my heart without hurting anyone else.

wth?

you know you're going through a rough patch in life when going to the dentist relaxes you. I mean - and I kid myself not - I actually closed my eyes and my whole body relaxed while having the mouth full of dentist's fingers, and a variety of tools... though he does have gentle hands and a soothing voice *lol*
cheers to all dentists looking like a younger, cuter version of robert redford. you make my life worthwhile *chuckles*

I'm so exhausted already and it's still just wednesday. can someone please give the planet a gentle push to forward the time to friday afternoon? I'm in need of a coupla days' worth of doing-nothing on the couch.

*sighs*

last night I had a little chat with some people in this chan I'm talking in regularly. weird when a talk about my unwillingness to play the lottery turns out in my non-believing in love (the romantic kind) and how I don't give a shit about fairy-tale'esque hollywood-movie kinda lifestyles. I'm sick and tired of having to listen to people talk about how much nicer love makes one's life *urge to barf*

that's just a bunch of nondescript bullshit... chances are better someone will give me the reign over, say, the moon or mars, than me "finding a nice someone, he's just around the corner"
*rotfl*
I mean, c'mon... that's just nonsense. I want my peace and quiet.

forgetmenots

it's kinda awkward when you miss someone so bad you literally feel a physic impact. it can get even weirder if you're missing someone you've never even met in person. or if you haven't seen that person face-to-face in a long time.
FFS, I just wish I could think of something else.

*squeeze-face* (that's from hard thinking of course ;) )

alright.... doesn't really seem to work. time to give up yet? maybe I should think of happy days and the good stuff ... fluffy bunnies, cookiemonster, those little daisyflowers, a whole football team in the showers....

yeah, riiiioght! as if THAT's gonna work. *lol*

blast from the past.... mousse t - is it cos I'm cool?

So someone from the past has turned up again. weird how the first reaction, being happy about it, seems to be the real / right one. what happened 2 years ago didn't ruin my life, it was a mere disturbance. I was told some nice little story about how he carried one of my better e-mails around with him for a long, long time before it got lost with some of his other things in a really run-down place...
*shrugs*
let's see what happens next.
I got a headache *lol*

DMB - Satellite

Today's weird. I still like fridays best, but today I'd rather have been somewhere else, especially the night.. spent not in this solitude but with someone special. He's out of reach for now... oh well, what can ya do.
I still have some grass left over, and I had a coupla good hours with it earlier on.
It's just when the affect vanishes slowly I start to think in a direction I'd rather not. Spare myself, let the grail pass me by.
*lol*
Is this gonna come to any final? any conclusion? closure? I can't let certain things go just yet. Can't. Won't.

what a morning *lol*

Right.. so after passing out early last night, I overslept this morning. I was just about to hit the shower when lil bro called to ask which train I'd take to work. When I told him the time (around an hour later than usually) he giggled and said "you're hard on it"
LOL
Well.. left my house and saw there's some shrooms growing in the front garden. Made me grin and think of magic.
Called my boss from the station claiming I'd missed the earlier train (which is true.. somehow *lol*) and relaxed for a while, reading, while waiting for the next connection.
When stumbling into office, the wacko girly cow-orker showed me some pics of this piece of ass we're distributing stuff of. Someone should find out his phone number and pass it on to me ehehehehehe
Anyways.. off now to pretend to work for a while.

gimme dope joanna

don't drink and drive. don't pot and watch a lifestyle mag on the telly. I'm having laughing fits and I've rarely been as sure everyone's nuts but me.

Now here's the good part. It was a show about aesthetic surgery...
*sheaks head and giggles*

I almost pissed myself....

I found this link on this girl's page:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/6049199/

ahahahahahahahahahahaa
*screams*
it's awesome :D

things that made me grin

right... ya may say it's unfair to take lines from other people's sites... but I read those and picked my favourite ones... and since they're for the "public good", I think it's alright to post them:

1. The darkest hour is just before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbour's milk, that's the time to do it.

2. Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.

3. No one is listening until you fart.

4. Always remember you're unique. Just like everyone else.

5. If you think nobody cares whether you're alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.

6. Before you criticise someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticise them, you're a mile away and you have their shoes.

7. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

8. Don't worry; it only seems kinky the first time.


ehehehehe
hillarious :D

aliens, come and rescue me

still feeling wonky. have been asked to transfer the week of vacation another 2 weeks later. so my girly coworker (cow-orker) can maker her publishing deadline. guess what has been happening the past hour or so? she'd doing those irritable coughs... uh-cha, uh-cha... you know? the ones that ain't for real, but she sounds as if she's about to die of weakness. she stumbles into my office asking how my last cold started and coughs a little for effect. I just look at her.
"listen... you have a deadline to make, which is the only reason for me having to set my vacation further back for another 2 weeks. you've no time being ill now. it's just no-go."
I think I should just kill her. kill my boss too. the paper-cutter looks so tempting. 've started to not care too much about how easy it'd track n trace towards me if they're found cut into pieces in the trashcans outside the building *grins*
what was the reason again I agreed to work for this company? money? ahahahaha no, that can't be.

to be or not to be

right. funny to find a bank statement that claims the account doesn't exist anymore. does this mean I don't exist? what's happening?

hellooooo I'm here! I'm scratching my nose, I'm breathing!! I exist! really!

what the hell... weird night

execution

viva la revoluciòn!
rolling the next cigarette as if I'm about to be executed. my boss is giving me a weird look whenever he walks in. am I going nuts or is it just general tuesday madness? what am I doing here? I should be at home doing anything else but this....

this year seems to be endless. 2005 where are you? just around the corner shooting up H with santa?

I want my couch. and a nice cuppa. someone should read something to me while I paint the acid version of la cenerentola. I'm feeling wonky...

never assume...

right, so this is how it started... reading someone's blog page and got annoyed about a coupla things before I took up more information and then the feeling about it changed. I feel a tad bit stupid now.

Lesson for the day: don't just assume stuff before you've had a chance to really know.