the world is a funny place

... and I can't decide if it's haha-funny or strange funny. maybe both.

checking through the news the past 24 hours made me chuckle with glee over the mishaps of some people out there.

take the case of these two weirdos in vienna. a german homeless person and an austrian homeless person sharing something like a shelter flat, and for some reason the german hit the austrian over the head with a dumb-bell, which killed him, and then he thought it a good idea to slaughter the poor sod. when the police arrived, he was dining on his buddy's intestines. now, I can understand that there's people out there going hungry. but really now, go through all that trouble? I also wonder if he ate it carpaccio or with ketchup or soy sauce or HP. who knows? the news item didn't tell.

the next contestant in the race for the weirdest eejit out there goes to republican US-senator larry craig who thought it was a good idea to go crusin' in a public gents' toilet on an airport in minnesota. the problem was, the guy he was trying to solicit with was an undercover cop. now, we don't know if said cop didn't have better to do with his time than chatting up other blokes for a quick romp in the stall (maybe he thought he'd hit bingo if he caught bin laden with his pants down?), but hey, beggars can't be choosers I suppose. dear mr. craig: for good private fun with total strangers, you'd be better advised to go to a sauna or a disco like any other man in need. you look like you're well past puberty, so I suppose you can hold your fire for longer than an hour, ey? we all like a bit of hypocricy, but you seemed to be overeager to get your face in the international news.

see, eating other people is okay in certain moments. say, your plane crashes in the andes. or you're a member of some island tribe. no, it ain't enough to be from iceland. maybe the faroese when the supermarket is closed.

some people...

faith - george michael

there's days when the sun's shining - not just from the skies, but outta your butt as well. and then you see those strange people out, trying to chat up passers-by for all kinds of reasons. beggers here'll just sit around with a subtle hat on the ground before them. punk kids with 900-euro-dogs will ask you if you can spare a coupla euros, there'll be people asking for money for their obscure save-the-burning-asshole-of-the-cockanoodle (a very rare turd bird, obviously).

and then, sometimes, the most fun kind, little mormon kids trying to bring their version of religion to the unwilling masses.
this tall ginger lad in a business suit had tried to chat up 2 teenage girls before I entered the street. I walked by and then I already saw this grey mouse lurking, scanning the crowd for someone not running by fast enough. oh yeah, she's getting ready to jump me. "here goes", I'm thinking and she's already starting to blubber something about "may I ask you something"
now, I'm a polite and friendly person (ahah yeah right) and I still hoped she was about only asking for the time or the way to the central station, so I stopped and nodded at her.

"today we wanna talk about happiness and god"
WE do? I had to bite my tongue not to laugh about those two words used in one sentence. watch the news, then you know they just don't fit together.
"you're wasting your time on me," I replied.
"why is that? don't you want to be happy?" said the mouse
"look, I'm an atheist. you're talking to the wrong person" I tried again.
"then lemme ask you this: what is your aim in life? what puts meaning into your life?"
she's one impolite bugger, ain't she. asking a total stranger that. usually, I'd only answer this after someone's bought me dinner, but okay.
I sigh, smile and go with honesty: "I don't think life HAS any meaning. I think it's totally devoid of any sense or meaning."

she's starting to loose the bounce in her step. "but isn't that totally sad?" she even makes a sad face, the silly girl.
"um. nope. not at all," goes I, "it doesn't need any meaning. it's what it is. it's the way it is. we don't have to try to force meaning into something that doesn't play in that league"
I'm trying to walk on, try to tell her have-a-good-day, but she just follows me.

"but what about death?!?!" she presses out.
"yeah, what about it?" I ask
"what do you think comes after death?"
at that, I grin. "nothing. end of story morning glory."
I can tell she's about to loose something. is it her patience? I don't know.
"so you don't believe in life after death?" she almost sobs.
"hehe no. oh please no. isn't one life more than enough? what do you want after all that? same shit again? no thanks. one life's enough, in fact, it's too short to worry about stuff like that. it doesn't need the search for meaning, it doesn't need any worrying about obsolete nonsense and it sure doesn't need anything like a god."

at that she stops running beside me. she looks crestfallen. she stands still and I catch the eye of some real hottie from her club, standing behind something like a pasting table. damn. why didn't HE try to chat me up? I would've come up with a way to shock him into puberty :p

... when the livin' is easy

I figured, if noone else cares, I can go and take care of myself a bit more. experimenting with different food to try to get the IBS to fuck off and leave me alone. trying oatmeal, linseed, bit of sugar and milk every 2 days. tastes aweful, looks like baby-puke, but hey, if it works?

yesterday, I cooked a lovely gratin with potatoes, carrots, zucchini, tomato and mozarella on top. ate a bucketful last night, nuked the other half when I got home from work tonight.

speaking of which, I did some foodshopping in the afternoon, buying more of the veggie stuff to take home and fruit to stay at the office and when I got home, I first did the washing-up, then peeled and chopped veggies to go back into a gratin... so I'll have food for tomorrow night and the night after. heck, I even made a half-gallon of tea to toss in the fridge overnight, so I'll have iced tea.

knowing myself, this won't last long, but hey! even a few days is healthier than not at all, ey? yayyy, me! ;-))

indie

I really dig having vacation. no, it's not for the obvious reasons (sleeping late, sleeping whenever I fucken' feel like it, doing fuck-all). it's for those silly little reasons that give me an infantile kick. drinking a triple espresso at 20 to midnight. going shopping for stuff I don't really need (but it feels good. see: substitute for sex). spending a lot of time on not doing anything productive.

there's this private person that is me and damn, I like her loads. :p