then some and change

I was so exhausted - both physically and psychically - I went to bed early early last night. it did me a world of good... first time in ages I had an uninterrupted night's worth of sleep. woke up in rather good spirits this morning. after a really difficult week, I think I can lay off the heartache for a couple of days to give me time to recover.
still got the bank breathing down my neck, though when getting a certain airline's newsletter at around noon I was sorta tempted to throw my good intentions over-board to book a flight to see R. when I got home there were a stack of unpaid bills though... I guess I'll pay those and wait with the flying for another few months, untill I'm more stable - financially and soul-wise.
though, knowing myself, I'm not so sure about what my actions will be in just 24 hours from now. I'll keep my fingers crossed for myself and hope I'll behave. *lol*
though I know I should. or chances are good I'll spend xmas out on the street with noplace to call my home.
great thing to know the xmas gratification are due in just 4 weeks.. and if joe finally pays the 600 euros he still owes me for selling my kitchen to him in january, I should be okay.
the finances alone are enough to drag any person down. I'm still trying to find a way to be more happy, which is kinda tough to find a way to...
I need to mend my heart without hurting anyone else.