on acceptance

there's things that just are. the earth is kinda round, the sun is above us and the earth under our feet. when you stand on your head, it's the other way around. the sun comes up over the east and goes down towards the west.

there's things you cannot change. you can't stop the earth from spinning, you can't change the tides, and sometimes you can't stop feeling a certain way towards a person. and even though you know it's not going anywhere, and certainly not the way you'd like it to go, you still can't stop feeling that way. you don't like that part, about not being able to stop, but then ya just accept it. you accept there's this person that makes you feel this way. you accept the hurt that comes from all of this. you accept coz you know there's no alternative.

you know you won't die of it, you know you'll keep getting up every morning, showering, getting dressed and going to work. you'll inhale and exhale and you play pretend to the rest of the world.

you know you cannot please everyone. you know there'll always bepeople who'll think you unfit, unbecoming, bluehelmets, unwhatever. you're not intelligent enough to join mensa, and you're too clever to hang around with the local yokels. you're too big to be average and you're too short to be tall. you don't belong to any club, you don't belong with a group of people anymore. the only people you sometimes hang around with are different than you are, but they kinda accept you for whom you are and vice versa. it just can't be helped, can't be changed, sometimes things are what they are.

you accept that what you want you cannot have. you accept that sometimes it's not meant to be - or in your own case - never ever at all, not if hell freezes over (and the one in norway does exactly that every winter), not with the sheep coming home. you accept you're the odd one out, you accept you can't change yourself to the point where noone will notice. you've tried that once and that was so depressing, not being able to be yourself, you quit trying after a few years.

you accept. you let it all wash over you, pass through you, you keep where you are, inhaling, exhaling, you sleep every once in a while and time is slowly ticking away. you accept. you don't have to like it, but you accept. you don't have to have the same opinion, but you accept that of others. you don't have to feel the same way, you accept others' feeling. you're brutalizing yourself, you accept the reasons why you do that.

you accept and you'll survive.