bitter chocolate
I'm a cynic. bitter. nothing to be ashamed of. rather an aspect I actually like about myself. it's helped me to survive. so you ignore me. bfd, that ain't the first, not the worst ever happening to me. I expect you to not decide for me. the day someone does, it'll be similar to hell (not the one in norway) freezing over. fat chance, etc.
why am I doing this to myself? why am I dumb enough to let you come into a close enough range to hurt the fuck outta me? because I'm stupid. because I wish for things that can never happen. because you would never take any action towards me. because you will never take up any responsibility. see? I hurt myself more than you ever could. I'm more brutal than anyone else could ever be. nothing you could say or do is worse than what I'm telling or doing to myself already. you don't like me? bfd, I hate myself, whatever you do or don't do is by miles nicer than anything I do.
you actually help me prove my thesis. the worse the situation, the pain, the sorrow... the more I know how right I am. I'm in control. there's nothing you could possibly do that'd change my view.
why am I doing this to myself? why am I dumb enough to let you come into a close enough range to hurt the fuck outta me? because I'm stupid. because I wish for things that can never happen. because you would never take any action towards me. because you will never take up any responsibility. see? I hurt myself more than you ever could. I'm more brutal than anyone else could ever be. nothing you could say or do is worse than what I'm telling or doing to myself already. you don't like me? bfd, I hate myself, whatever you do or don't do is by miles nicer than anything I do.
you actually help me prove my thesis. the worse the situation, the pain, the sorrow... the more I know how right I am. I'm in control. there's nothing you could possibly do that'd change my view.
of course it hurts anyways. but it's not you hurting me, it's me hurting myself. I'll survive. like I always did.
posted by daria l'orange at 11:51 am
2 Comments:
daria, isn't this always the case? we hurt ourselves the most. but what's the alternative? not let other people come close? not a viable solution. If you choose to be sensitive, be strong too.
easier said than done. but this fire makes a gem out of you.
chloe, you're right. sometimes, the thin line between being strong and being maggie thatcher is difficult to see though. rant n rave, you know :)
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