more tea?
at some stage late last week, the one who once broke my heart sent me an e-mail saying he'll be off to <insert crisis-region of your liking here> for 12 months with his work. we broke up about 6 years ago, but kept in an unsteady contact over all these years. call one another once or twice a year... send e-mails around every once in a while. just brief updates on what's happening to each other. the fact that we haven't lived in the same country nor continent in about 7 years doesn't really help any, either.
my mum visited yesterday afternoon for a cuppa and a little chit-chat. I told her about that mail and she glanced at me with her wth-look.
"can't let go of him?" she asks.
"well, I did. a long time ago. but he's been a big part of my life for a long, long time and we kept in a loose contact over the years." I answer
she gives me another of those looks.
"so, is he still spooking around in your head then?" she goes on.
"well, every once in a while. see, I know it's over, and I can never get that time back. but once upon a time I loved him and he was the only one in almost 30 years who loved me back. in his own weird way, but I believed him when he said he did. and he said it for a few years. and because of that, I'll always have a sore and soft spot in my heart for him and I don't want anything bad happening to him, ever. it wasn't my fault it didn't work out the way I would've liked it to be, I couldn't change the fact he moved away and never asked me to come along. sometimes love is not enough and sometimes there's nothing one can do to get that happy end. does that answer your questions?" I reply.
she shrugs and tries not to notice how I get agitated over the little convo and I quickly wipe away a treacherous tear that's suddenly appeared in my left eye.
"more tea?" I ask.
my mum visited yesterday afternoon for a cuppa and a little chit-chat. I told her about that mail and she glanced at me with her wth-look.
"can't let go of him?" she asks.
"well, I did. a long time ago. but he's been a big part of my life for a long, long time and we kept in a loose contact over the years." I answer
she gives me another of those looks.
"so, is he still spooking around in your head then?" she goes on.
"well, every once in a while. see, I know it's over, and I can never get that time back. but once upon a time I loved him and he was the only one in almost 30 years who loved me back. in his own weird way, but I believed him when he said he did. and he said it for a few years. and because of that, I'll always have a sore and soft spot in my heart for him and I don't want anything bad happening to him, ever. it wasn't my fault it didn't work out the way I would've liked it to be, I couldn't change the fact he moved away and never asked me to come along. sometimes love is not enough and sometimes there's nothing one can do to get that happy end. does that answer your questions?" I reply.
she shrugs and tries not to notice how I get agitated over the little convo and I quickly wipe away a treacherous tear that's suddenly appeared in my left eye.
"more tea?" I ask.
posted by daria l'orange at 1:56 pm
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